Just a few questions

Hello!

• Why is it that everyone wants to pass judgement on people who have addications or diseases?
• Why is it that they all want to kick on you when you are down?
• Why do they all well most of them hope you fail?
• Then again, why is it that they don't want to help you, but would rather see you fail?

Maybe it is because they want you to think you are a no good pieace of shit, or that you are a dumbass, or a no good abusive basterd. I am NOT anything like this!

I don't understand!

I am trying my hardest and all of these things I have been called or told. I am not perfect by no means but I am trying to do the best I can. These comments and snide remarks make me so mad. I guess I should not let them bother me, but damn it is so hurtful. Maybe I don't take well to hearing these things said about me. But I guess I brought all of this upon myself because of my past actions.

Well I don't live in the past now, I live in the future. I am very sorry for what I did in the past, but I can't change what happened then. Believe me if I could I would have changed alot of the choices I made in life. I am sure we all wish we could change something in our past, but we all know that can't be done. The only thing I know that we can do is make changes in our life to make the future better. Life is full of choices and we all make some bad ones and good ones. I hope there is some people who can help answer these questions I have asked. The only thing I know for sure is that no one can judge me but the all mighty GOD above. There was only one perfect human being that I am aware and I pray to Him every night to help me.

Thanks for steadying my wagon - it was wanting to tip a little!

When I Fell Off My Little Red Wagon

Hello!

Today was a quiet day, nothing real exciting happened. I did go to church with the family. I have also sat and watched the playoffs today, I am a big sports fan. However, I did crave a beer while watching, but I made it through it.

I get to go to work tomorrow, working in concrete. Hopefully make some good money for the family and to pay on my DUI fine. You know, it is hard to find a good job when you don't have a driver's license and can't drive. I hope I can make it through tomorow without the cravings being too hard, because I will be with one of my drinking buddies. After a long hard day, boy a cold beer is awful nice.

This reminds me of when I fell off the wagon after being sober for 803 days. In the summer of 2004, it was a sizzling hot day in the bluegrass (humid as hell), I was mowing the yard and getting awful thirsty when my new neighbor said, "You look like you could use a drink." He asked if I would like one, and not thinking I said sure. I took it, didn't look, opened it, drank it down, then realized it was a nice ice cold Coors Light. I remember this because my beer of choice is Bud Light. So I tapped the Rocky's and it's been an up and downhill battle ever since.

But, with the help of God I will be able to overcome my cravings and not fall off of my Little Red Wagon tomorrow. As the good book says the Lord will not put more on my shoulders than I can bear. But sometimes that load has been a lot for my Little Red Wagon to haul.

Keep me in your prayers and thoughts tonight and tomorrow as I know temptation will rear its ugly head.

Thanks for helping to tug on my Little Red Wagon another day.