- Why is it that everyone wants to pass judgement on people who have addications or diseases?
- Why is it that they all want to kick on you when you are down?
- Why do they all well most of them hope you fail?
- Then again, why is it that they don't want to help you, but would rather see you fail?
I don't understand!
I am trying my hardest and all of these things I have been called or told. I am not perfect by no means but I am trying to do the best I can. These comments and snide remarks make me so mad. I guess I should not let them bother me, but damn it is so hurtful. Maybe I don't take well to hearing these things said about me. But I guess I brought all of this upon myself because of my past actions.
Well I don't live in the past now, I live in the future. I am very sorry for what I did in the past, but I can't change what happened then. Believe me if I could I would have changed alot of the choices I made in life. I am sure we all wish we could change something in our past, but we all know that can't be done. The only thing I know that we can do is make changes in our life to make the future better. Life is full of choices and we all make some bad ones and good ones. I hope there is some people who can help answer these questions I have asked. The only thing I know for sure is that no one can judge me but the all mighty GOD above. There was only one perfect human being that I am aware and I pray to Him every night to help me.
Thanks for steadying my wagon - it was wanting to tip a little!
4 comments:
You can do it. My husband has been through this fight for years. I would be a liar if I said I didn't come close to leaving a couple times. It is a hard fight and I have seen him struggle. But you can do it. Look at your wife and kids every time you get that urge to drink and remember you need a paycheck to live and not a bottle.
Wagaon Rider..there is only one person in this world that you have to worry about right now and that is you. If you are trying to get sober for any other reason than you I will tell you that you ain't gonna make it. Getting sober means that you are going to have to dig down pretty deep inside and find out who you are and I can also tell you that you ain't gonna like what you find out..but that is when you can start the forgiving process..forgiving yourself and learning how to live with yourself..without the crutch of alcohol.
All I tell you about what other people say or think is fuck 'em. It is you that you have to worry about..not them. If they don't like you now they probably will not a year from now when you are maybe sober instead of just dry. That is their problem..not yours.
The whole idea is to make the decision to live..and once you find that in order to take care of others you have to take care of yourself first you will be well on your way to sobriety.
I believe different than the AA folks and many others about alcoholism..I see the addiction as a behavior problem rather than a disease. A disease is caused by a bug..alcoholism is caused by a defect in our personality that can be fixed..if we want it fixed. But no doctor can fix it for us..there ain't no magic cure. Just one day at a time until the time comes we don't think about it any more and that one day at a time becomes automatic and we say no thanks to the cold one after work as automatically as we say no thanks to a dose of clap.
Keep the faith my friend..and that faith has to be with yourself..
thanks for the link wagon rider!
I meant what I said about blogging being good for the soul. There is a lot of fun out there that does not require drinking, and a lot of living is in the eyes of a child.
Rex
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